Love Letter to Myself
Updated: Mar 19, 2020
A response to a love letter prompt from our Associate Director, Theresa Ronquillo.
Dear Theresa,
I love you, you badass brown mama of a tween PhD social worker artist artivist deep empath sensitive witty self-caring soul-caring community-caring being!
Yesterday your good friend told you that she appreciated
The article you had posted about
The experiences and realities
Of Generation X women going through
Midlife crises.
In other words,
The capitalism, internalized and externalized
The neverending hustle
To earn money,
Take care of your children
And your elderly father
And yourself.
The realization that yes!
You are earning way less
Than your boomer parents
Ok, boomers
Medical doctors who worked their
Immigrant asses off.
The perimenopausal symptoms
Of your body waking up every morning
At five am
Warm flashes
Anxiety
Depression
Fatigue
In other words,
You are the embodiment of this article.
You are exhausted.
But--
“I’m inspired by you”
Your friend also said.
You giggled uncomfortably, out loud
At this declaration.
You replied “Awww shucks.”
Own that, accept that compliment
Don’t make yourself small.
Take up all the space
Tell your stories
Your stories matter
And don’t ever think they don’t.
Dad always tells you to write
Your book.
About your childhood
Growing up in an immigrant family
In the 1970s and 80s
In suburban Detroit.
Add to the canon
Disrupt the dominant narratives
Of growing up in immigrant families
On the west coast
Or in New York or New Jersey.*
Find a publisher
Self publish.
About your adulthood
About your self hood
About your self actualization
About your journey
About your middle age exhaustion
And your midlife awakening.
Figure out a way
Through and out of the oppressive hustle.
You are not alone
Share your stories
So that others realize
They aren’t alone either.
Open up space
For them to share their stories.
Center yourself.
That is what I want for you.
Love,
Theresa
*In the greater landscape of “American stories”, Filipino American narratives are most definitely not included in dominant narratives. However, I am talking about Filipino American stories--novels, memoirs, essays, podcasts, etc.--as another kind of landscape. What do you see, read, and hear? How often do you read about Filipino American Midwesterners or Southerners? I have often felt invisible in this narrative landscape, and I want to change that.
www.theresaronquillo.com